Living With Imperfection

July 24, 2011 at 1:31 pm (Life) (, , , , , , , )

It has been a week! Everything seems to be going wrong. I am too much a perfectionist. When my life spirals, as it is doing now, I have this tendency to want everything to turn out perfectly. I have been unemployed since June 1, when my contract ended, and I feel poor. I don’t like feeling poor as it makes me worry about how easy it is too go back down to nothing. I fear, as so many older single women do, that I could end up on the streets or somewhere worse. Thus, this tendency towards perfection.

What happens next is that FATE/DESTINY starts messing with me.

The carpet in my apartment is light beige. Last week, I spilled a glass of red fruit juice just in front of the green chair (top right). I broke my favourite coca-cola glass. This annoyed me. The broken glass was the least of my worries because, of course, there was now a big red stain on my light carpet. This I have no picture of as the priority was in cleaning up the stain. I immediately used warm water and dish soap on the stain. It helped, now the stain was more pink than red. However, the carpet was very wet. I left my fan going and was thankful (for once) for the hot day. By morning the carpet was dry but the stain was still visible. I bought carpet cleaner at the store and cleaned the stain again. Then I searched the internet for more ideas. The omnipresent Internet suggested baking soda which I used immediately. Bad idea. The carpet was still wet from the carpet cleaner. This meant the stain was now more white than pink. The fan went back on and that evening I vacuumed up what I could of the baking soda and left the fan on overnight. The next day and the day after, I scrubbed the area with warm water and white cloths, until the pink was all gone and as of now, so is the baking soda white as far as I can tell. The picture above is how the carpet looks now post-stain. Can you see any red?

After I finished cleaning the carpet, I decided to clean my apartment. Good thing I did as I found juice spots on the furniture and had to shine up both my bookcase glass and the TV. A few nights later, I looked up – this was another bad idea. My ceiling had the measles (LOL). I’m amazed how far one half glass of juice traveled. I tried to ignore the ceiling. How often do I look up? I couldn’t ignore it. The red spots annoyed me so I bought a small tube of Chinese white at the art store and covered up the spots – see the photo above.

As you can see, the colour is not quite right. Now, I have to decide if I can live with it or do I grab some white house paint the next time I am home (in three weeks) and try at least one more coat of paint. I can answer this for you now – I’ll give the ceiling one more coat of paint before living with the imperfection.

This is who I am. I want everything to be perfect. This obsession affects all aspects of my life. Every time I walk by this fence I want to correct the grammar. The graffiti on this fence should read; “I am a fence” not “I am fence!” and could we get rid of that needless exclamation point, please. I’m resisting carrying a marker, in my pocket, on my walks.

So, my life last week was mostly annoying. Then, I went for a walk yesterday and it got more annoying.

First, I noticed the city has removed a row of trees and replaced them with a parking lot. In my opinion, we need more green spaces and fewer cars.

Next, I noticed the leaves are already starting to change and even though Fall is my favourite season, it is too early for the leaves to be changing. I haven’t been out of the city yet.

Third, a bumble bee stung me. All I was doing was trying to take a picture of the back of something. I step off the sidewalk; the bumblebee flies into my shoe and stings me, through my sock, on my ankle. Ow! It’s still slightly swollen today.

I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee
Won’t my mummy be so proud of me
‘Cause I got a baby bumblebee
Ow! He stung me!

I’m Squishin’ up my baby bumblebee
Won’t my mummy be so proud of me
‘Cause I’m squishin’ up my baby bumblebee
Mmmm! Tastes like honey!

So, this has been my week; everything that could go wrong did and my efforts towards perfection kept getting derailed.

I ponder.

So can you.

Enjoy the following quotes…

And ponder.

As machines become more and more efficient and perfect, so it will become clear that imperfection is the greatness of man.
Ernst Fischer

Congratulations!  You’re not perfect!  It’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway.  But then, everybody’s ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people.  You know what perfect is?  Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake.  Perfect is never doing anything wrong – which means never doing anything at all.  Perfect is boring!  So you’re not perfect!  Wonderful!  Have fun!  Eat things that give you bad breath!  Trip over your own shoelaces!  Laugh!  Let somebody else laugh at you!  Perfect people never do any of those things.  All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are.  But they’re really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway.  You should see them when they get the hiccups!  Phooey!  Who needs ’em?  You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person.  Good people are hard to find nowadays.  And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.  ~Stephen Manes, Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!

One meets her destiny often in the road she takes to avoid it.

– French Proverb

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3 Comments

  1. Kathy said,

    Thinking of something someone told me once: “We are imperfectly perfect.” Thinking of how hard it is to accept all of ourselves, the red stains of ourselves. Sigh…life is indeed a spiritual journey into acceptance…I hope that we find that path in the many forks of our journey. Blessings!

  2. Jill said,

    Two thoughts:

    – Perhaps it is “I am Fence”, similar to “I am Woman, hear me roar”. Perhaps it is an activist for fence-related issues?

    – Is that a parking lot where the Gathercole building used to be? I’m having difficulty figuring out exactly where this parking lot is. There’s also a lot of urban development theory about the evils of parking lots (they cause areas to die, oddly enough). Let me know if you’re interested in the source for that.

    – Bonus thought: I just finished reading a trilogy by Libba Bray (Gemma Doyle trilogy). It turns out that not only are perfect people boring, even imperfect fictional people striving toward perfection are boring. At least if they’re striving toward Victorian perfection. Thankfully there was a whole different angle that was the real focus (magic, etc.) but the bits where they were learning to love weak tea with one lump of sugar and how to curtsey for The Queen (capitalization intended) were better than a handful of pills to get me to sleep.

    • solitaryspinster said,

      The parking lot is at the bottom of the Victoria Bridge across from the Meewasin Center by the Persephone (that area).

      Yeah for Fence activists.

      🙂

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